Jobs

So, I've had an interesting couple of months. I applied for a job/submitted my resume on May 4th, and just had my second interview and found out that I didn't get the job last night. It was a long process, full of anticipation, reaching out of my comfort zone, prayer, support from friends, confidence, peace, nervousness, and disappointment. When I submitted my resume, I knew it was a long shot that they'd hire me. I knew that the church was more inclined to hire from within and that I brought with me a lot of questionables: future seminary plans, overqualified for some parts of the position, being an outsider (in many ways), being single and needing to be covered with insurance, just to name a few. I knew some of the committee members personally, and I know that I had advocates, but deep down I knew all along that I wouldn't be getting this job. Even so, I really wanted it, and I hope and believe that one day I will be doing work much like that of this position. I know that this process was much more about the process itself and much less about the job. All of the emotions, temptations, and waiting were gifts from God...and help from God...that will strengthen and guide me as this process of responding to God's call continues and intensifies.

I think what is most significant to this situation is that it has proven to be yet another experience of my living in the land of "what could be". During my two interviews, I was asked to share a great deal about my vision for the position, and I excitedly did so. I had brief, but impacting conversations with several of the committee members, and I saw their eyes light up at the mention of ministry areas to which they may be called to serve in their church. Many of my ideas were not part of the past ministry of this position, and while I don't know if they are part of the future of this particular church, I do believe that my vision for it is real and that through sharing that with the members of the church/committee, those visions became alive in them, even if only for a brief conversation.

Knowing that I was never going to be implementing the visions I was sharing was difficult at times, and I did have moments of deep hope that I might be able to actually do it/get the job/implement my visions as well as moments of asking myself, "What's the point?". After my 2nd interview last night, a conversation with a close friend on the ride home, and the eventual call from a committee member, who thanked me for my interest and interviews, but told me they'd decided to go with the "local person", I can more clearly see that my role in this process was not just about equipping me for my future ministry, but that I was a presence of "what could be" for this church, or at least some of the committee members. I don't pretend to expect that this church will take my ideas and have the person they hired implement them, but I do hope that my vision of what could be encourages the members of this church to develop their own visions of what could be and to work toward making those visions realities, because I know that this church has many hearts that want to reach out with the love of Jesus to their neighbors, their community, and each other, and I am thankful to have met them.